Nintendo is Not Sexist, By Smash

For at least a few deluded people out there, Nintendo is a realm of stupid bimbos and dashing male heroes with lots of muscles. Well, you idiots have obviously never played Nintendo and are reading this because your idea of a good time is to enter random letters to look for porn sites. You sick, sick person. Well, Mewd hasn't put a back link on this page so you're stuck here for eternity. Hahahaha.

HEY! Get that mouse away from the back button!

Now that you're here, you get to read about how Nintendo is not sexist, just like the title says. So I show you major roles females have played in Nintendo games. First we look at Nintendo's mascot, Mario. (Not Pokemon, you sickos) He likes to run around all day and save three random girls. (At least in most of his games.) You say that Nintendo is degrading the feminine gender because they are pushed into a fairy tale-esque position and the girls are all helpless bimbos. You're very wrong. How do you think you'd do ruling a kingdom that is under constant attack from a monster at least five times bigger and more irrationally violent that you and all your citizens are cowards? So one or two heroes (Again, depending on game) come to rescue you. Okay, so maybe you're not the sharpest pencil in the box, since you've been kidnapped roughly 500 times. But, then again, the way you're being kidnapped is different so you can't really expect it.

And who can forget Nintendo's two best Mario games, Paper Mario and SMRPG? In SMRPG, Toadstool's the best character in the game (In my humble opinion). And in Paper Mario, she's still brave and smart enough to sneak out of her room and risk Bowser finding her and turning her into a fine black dust. And she prooves she's as tough as Bowser in Mario Kart and the Parties.

Then there's the Zelda series. I've only played Oot, but I don't see any sexism there. For example, five of the seven sages are female. So the hero's male, so what? It's supposed to be like an altered fairy tale, you idiot. But then again, there is why Zelda altered herself to look male. At least that's what I'm told. Sheik still looked female to me. That and an entire race of warrior-women and

Okay, admittedly, in the DK series, most females were total bimbos

Get picture? Good. Now you may toss yourself into the salt mines or hang around and get to listen to me practice my harp and clarinet duet with myself.


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