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The Great Koopa Caper, Parts 1 and 2
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By Mary Beyer
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It had begun a wonderful day…
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in Koopaling standards, of course.
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First, Kookie, Hip, and Hop had set a trap for Mario and his friends.
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The bait was a hot, tasty, plate of spaghetti. They caught Mario and Yoshi in huge net.
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“Looks like…” Hip begun.
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During their proclamation, Kookie was laughing maniacally. Hop jumped up and unhooked the net from the tree branch and the others began dragging the net towards the Keep.
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“Let Yoshi and Mario go!” Yoshi cried.
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“Come on!” Kookie urged. “King Dad wants them in the Keep so I can trigger my new invention!”
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By noon the three Koopalings had thrown Yoshi in the old tunnel that led to the Yoshi Egg Maker they had used in Super Mario World and had Mario bound and gagged in their most heavily guarded dungeon.
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Fifteen Sky-Troopas, twenty Goombas, and two Lakitus making up the Guard Duty were all Koopas in training.
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Soon they would advance to places like Mushroom Way or the Koopalings’ lands.
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“Ha-HA!” Kookie laughed. “Now my Princess-Picker-Upper is perfect! Thanks Rocky Wrench.”
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“No problemo, Kookie,” Rocky said. “Just send the wrench over to Cootie-Pie’s Doomship when your through ‘wit it.”
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“Hip and Hop?” Kookie spoke into a walkie-talkie.
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“We read you…” Hip started.
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They were Hip’s, Hop’s, Toadstool’s, and a Mushroom person’s.
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“Here’s your lunch!” Hop said, dressed in old Mushroom clothes, Kookie guessed.
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He could also hear the spraying of his go-to-sleep formula.
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“Go to sleep, little Princess!” Hip said.
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‘Ha.’ Kookie thought. ‘That plumber bozo is in our dungeon. Mario won’t be saving today!’
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In another part of the castle, a figure walked amongst the Goombas and Troopas he had defeated. He walked towards the cell.
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“Mario,” the person said. “Good to see you!”
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CCCUUUUHHHH-RRRAAACCCKKKK! The sound of an enormous egg cracking split the silence in the cave under Bowser’s Keep.
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“YOSHI!” Yoshi cried. “Oh, Mario! Thanks!”
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In Bowser’s Throne Room…
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Toadstool came down the stairway in a gown that was white, but decorated with Piranha Plants all over.
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She wore a crown with little Piranha Plant buds around it. Three scrunchees in her hair also bore Piranha buds.
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Her shoes were a clear crystal white. She seemed swirling in a cyclone of sparkles. Bowser looked at Hip and Hop. They displayed their wands.
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“Ah,” Bowser mumbled. “Shoulda figured.”
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“Oh Bowser my sweet…” Toadstool said shyly.
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In another part of the castle…
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“Ack!” Luigi cried, as one of the Troopas hit him square in the forehead. They were both out cold. Mario remembered Mallow's cry as they had torn through the Forest Maze to save Geno. It seemed so long ago…
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“Yoshi falllllllllll!” Yoshi cried, as he went tumbling over into a knight.
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“Luigi! Yoshi! I’ll be baaaaaa…ack!” Mario yelled as a Troopa grabbed him and carried him into the Throne Room. Mario saw Big Mouth stare at him with an extremely smug grin as he zipped by. The Troopa carried him before Bowser and Toadstool.
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“Toadstool…wha?” Mario asked.
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“Bowser, dearest,” Toadstool asked. “Can we get married?”
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“Uh, sure.” Bowser answered.
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Three months later…
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Queen Bowser Toadstool was in the Chomp Room, feeding all the Chomps. She heard the cry and spun around to see Cootie-Pie run towards her.
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“MOMMMM!” Cootie-Pie screamed. “HIP RUINED MY NEW COAT!”
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Cootie-Pie, not misunderstanding this, trotted happily back to her room and seconds later, Toadstool heard a ‘POW!’ Then, in the corner, there was a video camera. Having been unused for years, an exceptionally large spider web had grown on it. Unknown to Toadstool, a green spiked tail poked out of her back. The camera switched on so fast that the spider in the web got flung off quicker than you could say ‘Hi’. From a hidden room in the castle, Bowser watched and laughed.
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“Finally, it’s happening.” Bowser said. “Just like Wizenheimer said.”
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On Toadstool’s Birthday…
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Hop had given her a magic wand that was purple, yellow, and green. Suddenly it gave off an expected effect.
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Hop, having been told by his dad that this would happen, grinned. The wand smoked a navy smoke screen, then it swarmed around Toadstool’s head. When it cleared, two pearl white horns rested over her ears, just like Bowser’s.
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Then the ceiling crashed open. Mario hopped over and smashed the wand.
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“Mario! What are…DON’T!” cried Toadstool. Another navy smoke screen appeared and this time swarmed around Toadstool fully.
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“Wha…where am I? Mario?” Toadstool said, confused. Suddenly…
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“Get her!” someone yelled.
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ZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPP! ZZZZZAAAAPPPPPP! One wand beam fizzled the ground in front of Toadstool, and the other got the ground right below Mario.
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“AAAAHHH!” Mario yelled, as he was caught in a net. “KEEP RUNNING PRINCESS!” The Princess ran to a warp pipe that led straight to her castle.
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Mario struggled in the net as two figures approached.
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“Well, well…” the first voice said.
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Later…
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“Be glad ta, King Dad!” Hip answered. He whipped out his wand and pointed it at Mario. A great beam of light shot at Mario. He cried out, but a small tornado of magic was empowering him.
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In a few minutes, there was no Mario, just a measly Para-Troopa with a hat that said ‘M’ on it.
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“Ooh, this is GOOD!” Bowser and Hop said at the same time.
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“HEEEE-YYYAAAHHHHH!” a girl screamed. It was Toadstool, not dressed in the usual pink gown, but in a jet black ninja suit. BBZZZZZZ! BBBBBBZZZZZZZZ! BBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZ! An alarm sounded. Only this alarm was for a particular Koopa.
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Suddenly, Toadstool heard about fifty ‘Hyah!’s. All the Mini-Ninjis in the Koopa world had come to fight this human Ninja. But since they were so small, the Princess beat them in a flash. It was getting dark, so Toadstool ran down the corridors of the Keep.
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In another part of the castle…
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“Do you think the coast is clear, Yoshi?” Luigi asked.
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“Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” the Princess yelped.
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“Sorry, Princess.” Yoshi said. “We go find Mario.”
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“I hear someone coming…uh oh.” Luigi groaned.
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“What?” Toadstool and Yoshi asked together.
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“There’s no place to hide!” Luigi said. But he was wrong. There was a little wooden door with a name on it, but it was too dark in the hallway to see. They all jumped inside. Moments later, a light flicked on.
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“Hmmph!” a voice said. “I’ll show them who’s too little. Here I am, stuck in this little bedroom while the rest of them get a HUGE room thirty times this size!”
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Then the voice rummaged through a pile of stuff. Luigi looked out from the closet he was in.
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“It’s Cheatsy!” Luigi said. Cheatsy had disappeared into the pile of stuff.
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“Ha-HA!” Cheatsy called from in the pile. “The old potion I bought from that trick shop a while ago! Let’s see. ‘To make a person shrink, just pour this on the person or people intended to shrink. To unshrink…’ ah, who needs that? ‘just have the people take a bath?’ That’s the weirdest set of instructions I’ve ever heard. Oh, well.
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King Dad and the others will never guess that is the antidote!”
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Cheatsy left the room, laughing to himself. Luigi walked out of the closet, Toadstool crawled out from under the bed, and Yoshi fell off of the shelf he was on.
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“Cheatsy gonna shrink the other koopas! Good. Then we’ll finally be at peace.” Luigi said happily.
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“Luigi,” Toadstool called. “Have you forgotten why we’re here?
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To rescue Mario!” With that, they all ran out of Cheatsy’s room and down the hallway once more.
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“Aaaaaahhh.” Bowser yawned. “it’s sooooo quiet in here!”
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then Big Mouth came bursting in.
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“YOU JUST ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION, YOU LOUD MOUTH!” Bowser yelled.
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“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!” Big Mouth yelled, and he ran down out of the Throne Room and upstairs to his room.
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“Okay, Koopa Creep! Where’s Mario?” Toadstool yelled.
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“AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGG!” Bowser growled. “Ask Hip!” he rumbled. The trio turned around and went upstairs to Hip’s room. They opened the door to find him balancing on his ball.
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“Where’s Mario?” Luigi asked, getting tired of walking blindly through the Keep.
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Hip grinned mischievously. “Try down by the south side of the castle.”
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“Eh, I don’t trust that grin…you’re coming with us!” Luigi grabbed Hip off his ball and they all walked down to the south side.
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At the south side of the castle…
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“Mariooooooooo!” Luigi called louder.
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“Okay, Hip.” Toadstool said impatiently. “Where’s Mario?”
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“Uuuuhhhh…” Hip stalled. “There!” He pointed.
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“Where?” Toadstool tossed him down and spun around.
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“There! By the gate!” Hip said as he ran away. Little did he know he had dropped his wand.
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“All I see is a Para-Troopa…oh!” Toadstool bent over and picked up the wand. Suddenly it reacted in her hand. An icy blue beam of light hit the Para-Troopa. Mario fell out of the sky.
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He had been flying in Para-Troopa form. The wand in Toadstool hand flew up and crashed through Hip’s window.
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“Well everyone,” Luigi said to the Princess, Yoshi, and Mario. “Let’s go home and have some dinner.”
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“I want pasta!” Mario cried.
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Hop had been watching from a window.
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******
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“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” he laughed. “NOW who’s too little?”
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“MIDGET? MIDGET!?” Cheatsy said, his voice rising higher each time he spoke. “I’ll show YOU who’s a midget!!!” He dumped the rest of the potion on Hop while Hop rolled his eyes.
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‘I better humor him if want to find out what happened to the others. He’s probably forgotten that I am the master of Giant Land and I control my size as well,’ Hop thought, as he shrunk himself.
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“HA!” Cheatsy said, his voice REALLY loud, like it was amplified a 100 times. “NOW I HAVE ALL OF YOU! WHO’S SMALL NOW? HA HA HA!” Then thundering footsteps shook the floor as Cheatsy ran off.
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“Soooooo,” Hop said to no one. Then he looked up. “Ah. Flying on a Para-Troopa would be so much better than walking around, trying to find my small sibs. Better yet, a Lakitu!” He did his famous whistle, and it was bairly heard by the Lakitus, but heard none the less.
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Seconds later, a Lakitu appeared. “Where’s Hop?” then, “AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Hop shrunk the Lakitu and jumped into his cloud.
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“Try to find Hip, Kookie, King Dad, Cootie-Pie, Bully, and, do I really have to, Big Mouth,” Hop said.
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“Hey…!” Hop called down.
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“Wanna ride?” Hop called.
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In a few minutes, Hip and Hop had gathered up Cootie-Pie, Kookie, and Big Mouth. There was still no sign of Bowser.
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"Later,” Hip said.
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They zipped around until they found Bowser. They picked him up and then Hop dropped them on Bowser’s throne. Hop unshrunk himself and walked up to Cheatsy and asked politely:
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“Fine. Fine. I’ve had enough anyway. It’s so dull around here!” Cheatsy confessed.
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“What is it?” Hop asked again.
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Hop had them all take a bath, even Cheatsy. That was considered his punishment. Bowser forgave him for doing this, even though he was almost eaten by a hungry Goomba. And for once everyone was happy at the end.
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