The FF7 Gang Play Football.

by Mewd

Is it just me, or is it rather stupid that we are dwindling our time away playing football while a giant meteor slowly descends from the sky upon us?

Just you. *passes the ball*

Oh good.

*gets hit in the head by a football and passes out*

Not again, aie. Last time we had to go threw three hours of game time with flash backs to wake him up.

Who says we have to? I say we just ditch him, take his Gil, and make sure he wakes up with amnesia.

Tifa! I am ashamed of you! For one he is our rediculously overpowered main character, and three...


It'd be mean!

Yes but if he's gone we can make you the leader.

Hey, let me get this straight. You want to ditch someone you've known since childhood for a large stuffed robotic Moogle who works for the enemy?


I'm all for it!

Me too.

What about Marlene!?

Uhh... What about her?

I dunno, you tell me.

*snatches up the football* HA! I have the football! Your every whim is now mine to control! BOW BEFORE ME FOR MY NEW DIVINE POWER! i Am yUFfIE kiSenGeR aND i OWn JoO!

**** it! Yuffies having another power trip!


*runs off*

Argh, that was our only ball!

Hey guys, Clouds waking up, this could be fun.


*hits cloud over the head with his spear*

*kneels down next to cloud* You are the Red Baron. You hate Nazis.

I am the Red Baron... I hate Nazis...

*runs off*

That wasn't anywhere near as fun as I had hoped. I want my money back!

Wait... Yuffie still has our ball.

**** it! She must die!


Hey guys, this is Yuffie we're talking about. She may be ugly, evil, greedy, cruel, theifing, ugly, evil, demonic, evil and....

What are you getting at?

I forget, can we go kill her now?

*everyone heads toward the Highwind to find it's missing*

My ship!


YOU! You took my ship! DIE!

No thanks.

Awww... C'mon! Die!

I really don't feel like it.

Please? Once? For me?

SEHPIROTH! What did you with the Highwind!?

C'mon, I'll be your best friend.

I didn't do anything with your ship. I did see Cloud run by and take off with it though, however I am here for more important matters.

Like what?

I got a cupon for free hershey syurup in the newspaper. I plan to collect it.


Fool, Do not stand between me and my syurup!

*tackles sephiroth*

*throws Cait Sith off*


SYRUP! Get him!

*the entire gang dogpiles on Sephiroth*

*ties Sephy to the ground with sound trash ties*

Ugh... Can't move...

I couldn't find the cupon,

It's far from here, you will never find it.

Drat, foiled again.

You got nothing on me.

Well you killed Areis, attempted to kill Cait Sith, summoned a gigantic meteor to destroy all of humanity, killed numorus others,including the President, some sailors, etc, caused Cloud more emotional destress then dreamed possible, and... Uhh... Hmm... Well, that's about it.

**** it, we have nothing to go on!

Okay, I guess your free to go, just don't let us catch you summoning anything else to destroy humanity.


Well We've lost our transportation... Now what?

*there is a soft rumbling in the distance*

Hey look, the Highwind's comeing directly at us.


Hmm... Yep, straight at us, at a 90 degree angle.

Taste cold death Nazi scum!

Apparently Cloud thinks we're Germens. Should we move or something?

Nah, lets wait and see what happens.

...... I think one of us should do something, we might die or something.

You really think so?

Nevermind. I changed my mind.


I'll handle this. *flies up the the Highwind and slaps Cloud*

What the h***s your problem?!

Well there's the simple idea that if you don't do something now you'll kill all of us while breaking the Highwind at the same time.

Oh... That... Hmm....

Yeah, its a rather big problem.

Well, what do you expect me to do about it?

Well, pulling the highwind out of this tailspin might be a good start.

Geez, All the time its "Do this" "Do that". When do I ever get to do what I want? Just let me suffer my mental problems in peace!

This is kind of important, its the whole not wanting to die thing you know.

I'm tired, I'm gonna go lay down.

What about the entire ship crashing death thing?

You handle it.

Hmm.. The ships takeing a awfully long time to crash.

*pulls the ship out of its straight down descent*

Okay everyone, get on.

We got our ship back now, we need to find yuffie now.


I come to seek revenge! I still must smite the lot of you.

Hey its Sephiroth... anyways, I wonder where Yuffie went.

She went to the Gold Saucer to start a cult revolving around her football.

**** it thats the third time this week.

I really wish she would stop starting cults.

We don't always get what we want red.

It was just wishful thinking.

So you admit it?

Admit what?

You know what we're talking about.

Seriously, what are you talking about?!

Hey, dosen't anyone care that someone you have been chasing for 2 disks is right infront of you?

There are more important matters right now.

But I killed Areis! Don't you care?!

Not really, we needed some cast slimming anyway.

Pay attention to me **** it! I'm a evil force! It's my fault that this world will end!

Yes, but did YOU ever steal a football.

I'm not that evil...

But I shall smite thee non the less.

*pushes sephy over board*

Good job.

Hey guys, we're at the Gold Saucer.

*Highwind crashes into it*


*gets off the ship and slides down the front of it and lands inside the Gold Saucer*

oHMmMmM i AM thE ESSenCE oF eViL iTsElF. *rises the football over her head*

Give us back our ball Yuffie!

fOoLiSh MoRtAl I sHaLl SmItE jOo.

Yuffie, stop being evil!

I dOn'T wAnT tO!

I'll give you some gum.

MmMmMm.... GuM... nO! mUsT sTaY eViL.

*shakes double mint gum infront of Yuffie*


Like Gimmie that! *drops the football and grabs the gum*

Hmm.. I should get out of here before Dio gets here.... *grabs football and goes back to Highwind*

*the Highwind then drives forward into the Gold Saucer shaking the entire thing and trashing it, then it goes into reverse and flies away without Yuffie*


Don't feel bad about Yuffie she deserved it.

Who cares about Yuffie. I dented the Highwind **** it!

Hey, atleast we caused alot of property damage.


*Dio sent Yuffie to the desert prison while making her do bead work to pay off her debt for the damages. The rest of the gang continued playing foot ball until the world ended*


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