The Retired Knight,
By Smash, and Mewd



There was once an old retired night who lived in the kingdom of Oana.
"Retired" as in he had too many body parts chopped off to fight anymore.
He was rather bored with there being no wars and such at the time, and his inability to go into brigand infested forests to get beat senseless and held hostage.
That and the fact that the king ignoring the fact that he had single-handedly saved the realm from a rampaging squirrel a couple of years back.
So he went to the meeting between the kingdom and another generic foreign one, the ruler of the other country bore a braided beard and black turban, and had an Australian accent. They were talking about bethroving their children to one another so that their nations would be united. So the retired Knight slapped the foreigner with his remaining arm.
Several times.
Smack. "Ow!" Smack. "Ow!" Smack. "Ow!" Smack. "Ow!"
Later....
The foreigner was confused, and rather upset, he demanded to know why he had been assaulted like that. "Uh, native custom?" The king responded.
"Oh," the other king said. "May I try some native custom?" Without waiting for the king to answer, he stuffed three live trout in the monarch's pants, sprayed him with squeeze cheese, and tied his head in a bag smelling of random disgusting things.
The king nodded attempting to hold back any rage. The retired knight was disappointed to find that he hadn't managed to start a war.
He grumbled all the way to his house, a trash can.
Inside however he noticed that there was a badly written note at the bottom.
He read it. "Wee haf tooked you're dawter too hour maagikal fourest layier. She owers sew ewe loosse. Wee laf in you're dercton. Your smely."
Despite the fact that he didn't have a daughter and there was no magical forest within 10,000 miles, he stole all the weapons from the castle and ran off to said forest.
Much to his surprise he found that he hadn't really lost the ability to get held hostage and beat up by brigands. He was so ecstatic.
But it eventually got boring being tied up in a dungeon for hours on end. So he decided to escape and kill some people.
His first task was to escape, he had to think of some brilliant plan to get out, he had no weapons, and nothing on him but his clothes. So he immediately started bawling and crying demanding to be let out.
So the brigands, not being the smartest people in the world, or even the most moderately intelligent people in the world, did so and gave him his weapons back.
Then a Fierce battle started, Seeing as the retired knight only had one arm, and a false leg, and one third a brain he had a difficult fighting the 3 brigands that made up the entire troop.
But he suddenly did something completely unexpected that took the brigands by surprise; He attempted to sell them amway.
They screamed in utter terror and ran away to join the circus. The knight celebrated his victory by eating a bratwurst, then looted the brigand's possessions. Among them he found a prosthetic arm, leg, and a robotic brain. He stuck them into himself and was suddenly overcome with the urge to download Internet files of loose morale.
Then he noticed there was a young women in the treasure horde, he assumed that this was the person they thought was his daughter. He attempted to stuff her into his lootin' sack but she was to big.
So he just tied her to his back, upside down, and began to slog back to his kingdom... in the wrong direction.
He ended up walking into a vast desert of sand that was right behind the forest, he walked out three feet and declared he was lost.
The girl on his back struggled and screamed, but he ignored her. After ten feet, he was crawling on his hands and knees and gasping for water.
The girl managed to escape from the Knight's paper clip chains he had used to keep her still, and immediately demanded to know why he'd captured her.
"What, you don't recognize your own father?" the knight asked.
"How should I know you?" the girl responded. "You abandoned me before I was born!"
"Funny, I never remember knowing any women who didn’t flee in fear of me, I wonder how you came to be my daughter" The knight thought aloud as he held his chin in thought.
"You’ve gotten us lost in a vast desert! We'll die now!" The girl screamed.
The knight kept on thinking, so the girl eventually got fed up and dragged him along for ten more feet, where the desert ended.
There they found a giant magical fountain, surrounded by a water park, a dock, people sitting on the side of the road selling buckets of water.
The knight, sitting an inch within the boundary of the desert continued moaning for water while the girl stripped into a bathing suit and went to the Water Park.
The knight then sat there, feeling that his life would soon end, he accepted his fate. He was then approached by a number of children who splashed him with buckets of pure spring water.
He stood up then cursed at them continually and chased after them with a sword.
The children giggled and ran in circles while the knight, clumsy and blind in his armor, waved his sword and ran off the edge of a dock.
He surfaced and shouted, "LOOK! Daughter! I found water!" he then struggled to keep afloat in the ankle deep depths.
Then he was smacked in the back of the head with the log for the flume ride and was stepped upon by a bunch of people including his 'daughter'
Note: This girl will be referred to as his daughter until the incredible plot twist hat makes the knight discover that this girl 20 years younger than him is actually... oops, almost gave the bland plot away.
Confused by his surroundings, the Knight began to panic, he was so far away from home and this place was so strange, there were tourists walking about half naked, he was in utter shock. Then he wept openly and searched for a receptionist.
Finding the information desk, he demanded to know where he was.
"You, sir, are at the Hyper Super Super Water Amusement and Theme Park, the Happiest place in the country except maybe Disney World." Before the knight could say anything else, a feminine bathing suit was thrust in his face and he was dragged off to a changing room by two burly guards.
The strange garments weren't to his liking, they smelled of sea water and he knew not where to wear them. He placed them over his helm like a cap and exited the changing room.
Then the less-than-sociable guards tossed him back in without the slightest hint of emoution.
The knight then exclaimed "Oh my gosh it was a trap!" Panicking, he drew his weapon and attempted to attack the guards.
The burly female guard, who also looked like a grandmother, spanked him with one hand and took his sword and armor from him with the other while her partner wrestled the suit onto him. They then literally kicked him into the park.
The knight returned to the information center, and informed them that he was scared, and wished to go home. They patted him on the back telling him they'd find his mother.
He was then swept up in a crowd of tourists, including his daughter, who wanted to go on the log ride once more.
The entire place was then over run by chorusing pirates as they looted the place and grabbed random tourists and stuffed them into bags singing off key about manatee’s and the ocean.
But they were hypnotized by the glittering displays of souvenirs and began to play and frolic as well with all the enthusiasm as the tourists.
This effected the plot in no way.
But we decided to put it in anyway. We laugh in you, the reader's faces.
The knight stared blankly in response to all of this, he then realized that his looting bag was gone. He was out of money and he wouldn't be able to buy glass animal figurines of which he bore a never-ending obsession for. Upset, he did the only thing he could for quick cash, sell himself and his 'daughter' onto a slave labor ship
The slavers grabbed him and the daughter just before she made it to the front of the hour-long line for the log ride. Then they chained them up, and tossed them into a kayak.
After an enduring trip over to the other side of the Water Park they were put to grueling tasks of slavery.
Such as having to dress up as mascots and wave at people going over water slides.
"How did we ever get in this mess?!" moaned the knight, he then was beaten senseless by random children who swarmed over him seemingly from no where.
When he woke up, he was in a dank dungeon cell with his daughter chained up next to him in cheap paper chains.
"Ugh..." Groaned the Knight. The daughter merely looked down sadly.
Then someone cliché shadowed figure snuck into the room.
"Who are you?" the daughter called hopefully.
"Arg... Me be a pirate, gimmie your hubcaps!"
"We're doomed." the knight groaned.
"Hrm, I be assuming without any bassis that you to be tourists! I shall steal you away!" The pirate chanted merrily as he put both of them into a plastic shopping bag.
And then he tossed them into another kayak, singing drunkenly the whole time,
dispite the fact that the place they had just walked out of was the pirates fortress.
In any case they set off into the open sea.
They sailed all of twenty seconds before they ran aground upon the shore of a jungle.
"Here be the generic tropical isle!" The pirate called as he thrusted his two prisoners off the boat onto the beach, and got out with his sword pointed at them in a mildly threatening manner.
Which happened to be made of rubber and less than the size of his little finger, but they were intimidated anyway.
He forced them to doggedly walk into the lush tropical isle, into a fully established resort on the other side. All the time the pirate sung rude sea chanties while the two cringed at his horrid singing voice.
So horrible that the vegitation screamed, "Aie! What's the point?" in chimpmunk like voices and wilted into a gray mass instantly.
The pirate then forced them further into the resort, the sky darkened as they went further and a sense of foreboding overcame them.
But it was just the special effects for a generic superhero show. The pirate forced them into the backstage of said show.
It was a big Broadway like stage in a theater, The pirate left them by the door and joined his comrades of evil, a solicitor, and a dentist, and they went on stage to fight a muscle bound hero in embarrassingly colored spandex.
Leaving the knight and his daughter to the mercy of the stagehands. They were quickly set upon and dressed up like the idiotic looking Super hero's sidekicks.
Kilts and archery targets were thrusted on them and they were forced onto the stage.
They quickly stuttered as they were ordered to say their lines.
The daughter managed to stutter out, "Uh, uh, I shall punish you and give you... paper cuts," before she was set upon and beaten.
The knight boldly cried, "Prepare to be destroyed, generic evil creatures!" He drew his sword and attacked the villains with enough ferocity to scare a baby.
The daughter crept away to the back stage, disoriented by the constant scene changing she needed to sit down.
She fell through a conveniently placed trap door into the kitchen of the resort restaurant where she was comically mistaken for the chef and told to cook up a eleven course meal immediately.
She looked about confused, and called out to no avail. No one was around, "Agh... what a mess we've gotten into" She muttered and then cursed under her breath the names of the writers.
Meanwhile, the knight was laughing as he slapped the pseudo villains manically.
Noting that his daughter had run off he was driven into a complete and sudden well of depression and sorrow. He sat down and wept about how she never writes to him and ignores him.
The crowd booed and the muscle bound hero was forced to kick him off stage before they demanded a refund.
The knight then wandered out of the theater, finding himself back at the resort he began to search about for anything of interest like a small child enthralled by its surroundings.
Having noticed that he was hungry, he lumbered into a nearby expensive restaurant that somehow fit under the ground level Theater.
Then his daughter suddenly tripped over him, almost spilling a bowl of boiling soup she’d been caring frantically threw the restaurant.
The knight then cried in joy, “Daughter, where’ve you been? I’d almost managed to build up a decent hatred towards you to bitterly mold my life around!”
The daughter screamed, "I was forced into a minimum wage job and am living a broken down life serving boiling fly soup to fat people because of you! I hate you!" She tried to dump the soup on the knight's head before the evening show started and distracted her attention, causing her to immediately forget all feelings of hatred and gazed in awe.
The entertainment was composed of a donkey being brought out of stage, the audience laughed whole heatedly at the creature pointing in hysterics.
The daughter walked blindly while keeping her eyes on the donkey the whole time gleaming with amusement, she walked straight into a series of easily breakable objects and tumbled face forward onto the ground without spilling the soup.
Meanwhile the knight was running around her like a sugar high puppy on amphetamines. He tripped her several more times after the breakable objects, bringing her nose exactly .00000456 micrometers from the soup, but she managed to stop in time and continue.
The knight became fed up with the entertainment for the resort, and took off his prosthetic arm and began to scream that his daughter take his order waving it frantically.
Making her turn around in about twelve circles really quickly, but amazingly, no soup was spilled. Suddenly, an earthquake struck.
The entire area was reduced to ruble, aside from the tables and stage while most of the audience had inexplicably vanished.
The daughter staggered about, fell over, and was turned upside down, but no soup escaped from the bowl. She finally made it to the table she was supposed to deliver it to. Then a fly flew almost close enough to her hair to notice.
Mewd6: she twitched uncontrollably and chucked the bowl square in the face of the fat tourist. He then demanded to be served it.
Amazingly, the bowl was temporarily frozen in time. But then the demi-god finished his business and the boiling soup hot enough to melt lead splashed into the fat guy's face.
Mewd6: he continued to demand to be served unphased by the boiling colored tomato water.
But by then a hurricane had struck and no one could hear him.
The knight sat at his table sipping a tropical umbrella drink as the winds howl and rain fell, the daughter took cover under a large sturdy tourist.
Some random plot-enhancer guy ran around and tied a sheet to the knight and his daughter and left without notice.
Blown away they swirled about in the sky for a while completely dizzy and too disoriented to think, they landed in yet another unwanted location completely devoid of character development.
After cursing the demi-god co-author for awhile, they decided to float around the mass of darkness, to confront the very recesses of their minds and confront their worst fears.
The girl appeared in complete darkness, alone, she sat calling out to anyone who may be near but no one heard her, and she heard nothing. She feared to be alone.
The knight was suddenly surrounded by peanut butter that was zooming into his mouth and sticking to it.
He screamed in fear and clutched his face as he desperately tried to pry it away from his mouth.
Then he heard the girl scream. She was surrounded by many images of politicians.
After checking to see if she was alive by rubbing her forehead frantically, he discovered she was, he heaved a great sigh of relief before deciding to look for a way out.
He went threw a drastic search in all directions for five minutes, that only caused him in the end to acclaim aloud it was hopeless.
Sensing the presence of someone she hated, the daughter bolted up and turned around to face the knight. Her jaw dropped as she saw what was behind him.
The exit, as it took the authors two days to figure out a decent surprise.
Yes, terrifying indeed.
She pointed a trembling finger at the huge wooden door and the knight turned around to see a electronic sign glowing with the tomes that held a bright neon green in color.
"I have an idea," he said. "Let's open this door that we have no idea what is on the other side of."
The knight nodded and they opened it together and tumbled face forward into a place where they would actually spend more than five posts.
The door led into a place that looked like a well kept Keep, there was a giant feast sized table in the center of the room littered with empty stained dishes and left-overs of random meats.
The knight got the eerie feeling that he'd been here before, but shook it off, waved his prosthetic arm, and called out into the keep demanding food.
No one responded. "Odd, I feel at home here" The daughter said calmly.
The Knight merely salvaged the plates and dishes looking for food ignoring her.
While he was looking, some monks in brown robes and hoods walked in, chanting.
In response to seeing people they'd never seen before, they began to violently flail their arms screaming in attempt to frighten them.
The monks ignored them and continued to chant before coming up to the knight and hs daughter and presenting them with a treasure chest.
"Um..." The girl looked at them, wondering why they were giving them this. The duaghter opened the chest still in the monk’s hands wearily.
Inside was a ball of the most beautiful gold, flickering in the candlelight. Diamonds were studded upon the sphere, glittering. As the daughter lifted it out gently, it seemed to make her all the more beautiful.
"Eh? What’s that?" The knight said stumbling forward pushing his daughter away, he took the ball and attempted to bounce it against the floor, it smashed into many tiny pieces and he then scowled at the monks telling them they designed toys horribly, they were very hurt.
But fortunately, the shards levitated back into the monk's box and formed the ball again. The head monk snapped the lid shut and they walked away again. The daughter ran after them in an attempt to apologize wanting to hold that wondrous ball again.
While the knight decided to see what the Internet was like in this dimension with the aid of his electronic brain.
Seeing as monks were to live without electronic equipment, and this story takes place in medieval times, he substituted the Internet with a bashing against the wall to the head.
Resemble substitute indeed.
Meanwhile, the daughter had caught up with the monks and was trying to apologize.
"My pardons about my father. He's been traveling through one too many hippie dimensions and fried his brain."
The monks didn't seem very effected by her comment, they continued to ignore her while she followed hastily.
When she got a little too persistent, one smacked her over the head with a stone tablet and was instantly excommunicated.
Excommunicated?
Kicked out.
The knight however continued his drastic search for turkey bones and leaky zip long bags full of chili.
Then another group of monks came into the room, this time wearing gray.
The offered a chest as well, the knight ignored them however as he had found a whole half eaten turkey.
So they just stood there with the chest for hours on end.
Meanwhilst, the daughter had managed to get her apology across to the brown monks
Threw shameless bribery. They gave her another chance to bear the ball that seemed to empower her eloquence.
She cheered and blessed each of the monks before very carefully taking the ball and going back to the main room. But this time she hid the ball from the knight.
The monks had tied him down and were trying to force him to open the box, the knight squirmed frantically like a eel trying to get back into the water.
The daughter ran up and took what was in the chest.
It was a small staff, about one-foot long, it was plain and yet it felt somehow important, as it ridded her teenage-self-esteem problems from her.
She took it with gratitude. The monks bowed and shuffled off. A minute later, monks wearing black robes entered the room.
They chucked the box at them from a distance being far more impatient then the first two groups.
The girl was hit in the chest and out of the box came a necklace made of sapphire that instantly dispelled all fear in her heart.
A minute later, monks in green robes entered.
The leading monk held the chest aloft to the floor as another charged forward and punted it across the room.
The girl caught it and out came a sword that burned with the flame of righteousness.
A group of monks wearing blue robes kicked the green ones out of the way and came in with their own box.
They rigged up a clever pulley system of which to thrust the box across the room to the daughter, she opened the box as soon as it dangled infront of her and she found a suit of armor that emitted an aura of wonder around it.
More monks entered, wearing purple robes.
They walked over solemnly half way, then they used sheer mental force to pull the daughter and knight towards them. Inside this chest she found a wad of gum which gave her communication skills.
Then some monks wearing fluorescent orange entered. They hypnotized the two with their strange light and gave them a helm that contained the knowledge of how to program a VCR.
The daughter staggered about to try and carry all this at once, she forced half her load onto the knight who was completely unable to hold up the gum alone and he tumbled over.
And so they went through the robes of plaid, white, translucent, transparent, neon, rainbow...
She obtained the anklets of cold remedy, the leggings of invincibility to hat hair, a dehydrator, a blanket of invisibility, and a jar of pennies that bestowed refinement and decorum not to mention a free humidifier.
And some other junk that she was completely unable to find the meaning or purpose for.
Then a few more monks wearing different colored robes entered
This is the last group that tells the girl what to do with that junk.
She bowed to them politely but was a bit disappointed they didn't bring her a toaster or anything.
The leader, wearing brown, stepped forward. "You have been given a bunch of nifty stuff. Now we shall tell you what to do with it.”
"We want you to become our new leader, mainly because you’re a women, and there hasn't been one in this country since they were driven away by a number of evil generic thingies." A blue robed one stepped forward.
Green said, "You need to help us drive off these evil thingies with this nifty stuff"
"In return we won't kill the knight and force you to marry one of us bald monks"
"Or we would, but we’ve all taken vows of chastity, so you get to marry this guy."
They brought out a hill billish man with a cross eyed stare with no shirt with overalls that only had one button connected, he grinned with a mouth full of jagged yellow teeth.
"Him?" the daughter gasped.
"No, that's his father. The real guy is over there hiding in the corner."
The curtain opened to an identical man who was in a business suit with slightly better dental care.
She agreed to help them, they then led them to a small room within the monastery.
There, they dressed her in all the gifts, including the blob of gum on the bottom of her foot.
They then pushed her forward behind a curtain to meet with the evil things, which turned out to be a leaky ant farm.
She screamed in terror and flailed at them with the sword.
Knocking it over it tipped off the table and smashed open, the enraged ants began to mercilessly hurl crumbs of dirt at her.
She screamed again and threw the gum at them.
They began to hoard at the gum, and so as they ate it they gained the ability to speak.
They screamed in little tinny voices that they were going to rule the world. Meanwhile, the knight was staggering up behind them with a bug bomb.
The Daughter squished them all as the ants began to realize that they could speak, the knight came in with a lit bug bomb in hand.
He tripped and the bomb flew up and came down in the midst of the ant farm.
And everything within a five-mile radius was consumed in the explosion.
The monks found the knight and his daughter unconscious in the room. The ants were all dead except one who happened to have a tiny crown on his brow seated atop the destroyed ant farm that managed to stay intact after the explosion.
The brown robed monk muttered and stepped on it.
Satisfied that menace of the ant farm was forever driven away from their lives the monks lived in peace.
The daughter and the knight, on the other hand, snuck away from the castle with every valuable the knight could stuff into his pants.
"I wonder why I'm giving up ruling queendom just becuase I didn't want to be caught for stealing a commemorative plate." The Daughter sighed as they ran away from the mountain side.
"Well we can go back..." The knight responded only to be growled at by the daughter by the sheer illogic of that idea.
Then the two fell into a plot hole and ended up in... *sigh* another obscure location, this one happened to be a sandy beach. Laying face forward half-buried they had fallen asleep from having to review the plot while falling.
But then they woke up and found themselves back on the mountainside that they had just fallen down.
The daughter pointed. "Look! The monks are up there and coming down!"
Enraged the number of monks had begun to lumber down the mountainside in a violent mob over the lack of a comenrative plate, however their choice of course wasn’t that wise as they tumbled down the mountains cliffs.
The daughter began to scream while the knight jumped off a cliff. The daughter was captured by the monks and taken back to be crowned queen while the knight fell five feet into a thorn bush.
The daughter was brought back kicking and screaming "NO! I don't want to rule over a small kingdom with an iron fist! Noooooooo"
Then the crown was forced upon her and she had a bucket of holy water dumped on her head.
"I now declare you Queen....er...what is your name anyway?"
The daughter didn't respond, she attempted to wipe the water away from her brow as everyone clapped.
"Oh well, I'm sure its not important anyway" He then forced a scepter into her hand.
Meanwhist the Knight had stumbled out the bush laden with thorns, screaming he attempted to pick them out of his plate mail armor.
Then he fell down another cliff into another thorn bush.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!"
After a convenient pause while the knight was cursing, he decided that he was jealous of his daughter and went back to the castle to get the crown for himself.
Enraged, he attempted to thrust a burning torch onto the cold damp stone wall of the castle to set it on fire and take it by siege failing to do anything he paused and kept the torch in its thrusted position.
Meanwhilst....
The daughter was being forced to accept expensive gifts for her coronation.
"Here, your Royal Highness, is a magical barrel full of gemstones."
: She was held back in her thrown as she flailed her arms crying "I don't wanna be queen!".
"Your majesty, here is something so utterly useless that only an idiot would like it."
"Hm? Oh, cool! Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!"
The Knight gleamed happily as he presented her with a dozen of servants, she immediately glared at him angrily. "You deceived me! Off with his head!"
But then the servants pulled out some random instruments and began to play rock music.
The daughter clapped her hands and cheered. "Useless! Yay! Give that man half the kingdom!
The men misunderstood her order, thinking she wished to be wed to the man. They summoned the royal saint, Powerinvested t. mebythestate and prepared the wedding hall.
It took a couple of hours to prepare the hall, so they all left the happy couple in the throne room. When they came back, the two were locked in a passionate embrace and were kissing each other like two lovers from a Disney movie.
Then they were told they were to be wed, and then they glared at each other bitterly and began to shoot off colour insults at one another.
They were dragged to the wedding hall, still screaming at each other, and Powervested began the service.
Meanwhist the Knight still held the torch aloft in his hands intent on setting the damp stone on fire.
He jammed the torch in a crack and a hidden door suddenly opened, slamming him against the wall.
He staggered in a dizzy state as he found that it led into a storage room, filled with dragon eggs, magical artifacts, and paper fans.
He immediately attempted to steal these, but he found his pants were already filled to the brim with commemorative plates.
So he had to settle for the paper fans. He took one and began to look for his daughter.
He then went the door of the castle and knocked, he was greeted by a number of cheery monks.
They greeted him as the guest of honor, dressed him in a chicken suit, and chained him in the front row of the chapel.
The daughter presented to say that this was all a mistake, until she was given some flowers and completely shut up because they managed to entertain her.
Then they were dragged to the altar and Saint Powervested began the ceremony.
"Do you solemnly swear to not violently kill one another until you agree upon a divorce?" He said as he gestured towards both of them.
The daughter didn't speak, as the flowers kept her hypnotized. Her would-be husband said, "Sure, why not?"
The Knight protested, mainly because they'd taken his pants to get him into the chicken suit and all of his stuff was in that pair.
But the fake head muffled all the noises and no one heard him until Powervested intoned the last words. "I now pronounce you man, wife, and wife's plastic surgeon. You may kiss the bride."
In response they both stood still, the bride was still starring at the flowers like vegetable while the groom had come to the realization that he was about to get married.
But the monks to either side of them shoved them together and their heads bonked against each other.
But they counted it as a kiss anyway.
Over the next few days, there were some fights, some wedding night stuff, and some more fights, until one day they decided to unchain the knight who was on the verge of dying of starvation.
He collapsed, gasped for food, and was showered by raw meat.
He continued to move about crying for food, he walked into the throne room and some how inexplicably caused them to divorce because he'd crawled into there.
And then war was declared on the original kingdom.
Mean whist, this entire time the foreign ruler had continued to express forms of native customs to the king.
The king was now being crawled on by fire ants inside an active volcano.
Without a king, the foreign ruler had taken the kingdom for himself and was attacked by a army of neon colored robed monks in ninja garb.
The force of seizure inducing colors quickly overwhelmed him and the kingdoms forces.
The unhappily married attacking kingdom was in the middle of a divorce. They split the kingdom fairly, the husband got all of the kingdom and the wife got to keep the plate she stole earlier
There, she was sent to the first kingdom to live out her days in a trash can cleverly disguised as a covenant.
The Knight was freed too, however the war ended in a stalemate when the monks ran out of enemies to fight and looked upon one another.
So the knight stole the dragon eggs and hid them in his costume before taking them back to the trash can his daughter was in.
Okay folks, this is where we reveal the entire plots purpose in a two sentence explanation and then end it with something bizarre and unsettling.
The eggs hatched to reveal two dragons.
And since they were just born they explained in their infinite wisdom that the girl was not infact the knights daughter,
but his estranged wife who ran away five years ago after the knight got amnesia.
The dragons then ate them both.
The end.

Moral: Never start a CFG after 10:00PM.




Back