The misc. story One day there were two guys walking around outside, they were just about to announce their names to one another.
However one insisted the other go first, and vice versa. And so War broke out. The streets were filled with gunfire and fires were breaking out everywhere and the sky turned brown as cars crashed into one another and cats ate dogs.
One of the two stopped fire,
“Stop my friend, stop! What we are doing is wrong!” He called.
“My friend, you are right!” the other agreed
The two friends ran to eachother and embraced eachother in a long loving hug.
“Let us never fight again...” the second one said
“Till death do we part... Hwa!” The 1st friend jabbed a knife into the others back, the knife purtruded out his chest and shirt, heart pumping on the end.
“Ahhhh! I won't go down alone!” the second one screamed
The 2nd friend grasped the knife, pulling it out slicing his fingers in the process, and jabbed it into the chest of the 1st friend.
And whence the knife impaled the heart, he pulled it out and held it in front of them, so they could both see their deaths. The hearts beating, blood-"
…
“Hahaha!” SS laughed.
“Silence SS, I havent finished the story yet!” The teacher snapped.
“Hoo..Hoo...God..”
“SS, stop that in this Knight training school! You must have respect!” the teacher growled.
“This story SUCKS!” he continued laughing
“Have respect SS or you will never feel the graceful moment of becoming a paladin!” His classmate Mewd said.
“This whole school can go to hell!” He laughed
The teacher shook his head in flustration
He sat back down at his desk, and as he went threw a pile of papers, he shuffled his hand about for no reason.
"Since you insist we stop the story, SS, We'll just skip right to the Final exam" he said calmly as he grined broadly.
"Dude! We've only just started class today!" SS moaned slapping his forehead.
"Excuses, Excuses, now don't blame me if you didn't get years of learning experience before you came to the school." He then pulled out 10 thick text book sized binders and placed them on each of the student’s desks.
"You have 20 minutes to finish"
“No, YOU have 20 seconds till I blow your freaking brains out!” SS yelled.
“SS, man, that’s like illegal!” Mewd pointed out.
The teacher gulps and pulls at his shirt collar, pushing at a small button hidden inside the collar. He walks back to his desk.
“That's better!” SS said satisfied  “What’s that beeping noise?”
Suddenly two cops burst through the door.
“You, come with me.” One cop called.
“Dude!” SS responded automatically.
The cop grabbed SS and pulled him out into the hallway.
“You just threatened a teacher’s life, do you know how much jail time you can get for that?!
SS put his finger up while his mouth hung half opened.
“I have a perfect explanation for all this....” SS quickly ran through the hallway and outside.
The two policemen paused starring at one another.
"Shouldn't we go after him?"
"Nah, that’s what the traps are for"
SS ran with all his might down the school hall ways, darts shot from the walls on either side of him flames upon them, barely missing him as the back of his shirt caught ablaze.
"Argh, D*** School security system!" SS cried bashing a hand to his back putting the flame out as he ran.
The floor before him crumbled as the walls shifted backwards, creating a chasm that slowly grew, SS paused as he ran into it, and took a gulp as he backed up and jumped in a slow motion sequence. Slamming into the side of the chasm and grabbed a hold of the side of the top and pulled himself up.
The floor beneath him began to rise as he panted from exhaustion"
"Aw for the love of..."
He ran to a door across from him and kicked it down, and jumped into it right before the door slammed.
Now closed off from the other area he found himself in a dark hallway lit with torches that slanted downwards.
He took stride down it with ease, but the walls rumbled as a boulder dropped behind him and began to come at him down the slant. He ran in an Indiana escue boulder scene as spikes shot from the walls and flames and fire works spouted from the ceiling and at the bottom of the slant there was a door, without thinking he ducked inside it ahead of the boulder.
The boulder approaching he then found out that inside the room there was...
A large exit sign. He ran to it, but a foot protruded from nowhere. He fell, and a cop jumped on his back and cuffed him.
“Yous goin' to jail!”
The boulder crashed threw the doorway and passed by them and crashed threw the hallway.
"Augh, I won't go without a struggle!" SS yelled as he jumped up and began fighting the officer with his shoulders all the time screaming a war cry
Approximately eight seconds later...
Sandslash was unconscious and being drug along the ground by his feet by two policemen.
"Well that didn't take too long..." one cop said to the other.
"Yeah. So where'd you park the car?" said the other.
"Uh...car?" he said quizically.
“Its dragging time!” the other shouted enthusiastically.
(1 hour later)
The cops enter the classroom, holding a drugged and soiled SS.
“Well, he’s back!”
“You were supposed to take him to jail!” The teacher complained
“I’m, well... Our, uhh...”
“Our regiment said, the.. er..”
“Are you guys even cops?” The teacher asked crossing his arms.
“Uhm.... Now I have a perfect explanation for this....” the copy responded holding a finger up.
The cop took a penholder and ran out of the classroom as fast as he could, and the other followed.
“Agh!” The teacher sighed.
The teacher dragged SS to his chair and props him up, with the help of duct tape.
"Do you think you can not attempt a escape every other ten minutes SS?" Mewd sighed as he flipped threw the test book.
SS store blankly forward with no response.
"Haha, yes that’s a very witty response"
10 minutes later the test ended, they were immediately graded.
SS, who hadn't wrote anything in his text book received perfect marks.
Mewd, was sent to the principals office for the unnecessary words used in his Essay portion.
“Bah, how dare he!” The principal yelled. “’And as the days roll on I will always wish to be a paladin.’ I don't care if this is a monumental essay in content, that was completely outlandish! But anyway, now its time to set my students to graduate, and be put in the knight regimen, that is except for Mewd.
"But...But.." Mewd said as he backed away, seconds later he flew from the window and fell to a bloody injury at the school grounds parking lot.
...
At the graduation ceremony...
There were helicopters flying above while medieval carriages past by, men in black suits were standing around talking to play headphone sets as the students of the school were lined up in paladin armor to receive their diploma’s.
"bsshhk, Little boy playing 20 feet from podium, Repeat, little boy, ten 0 clock, nearly lunch time" one said into his mic as he wiped the spit off from his "bsshk"
"Bshhk, I read ya, Take 'em down!"
All the officials ran after the small child. Mewd snuck to the back of the line of graduates, with a fake mustache on, sunglasses, and chin putty.
Everyone got their diplomas and Mewd was next.
In the distance could be heard stray gunfire as the men in the uniforms wrestled the small boy to the ground.
"Yes, I'll finally become a paladin" Mewd thought to himself as he smiled.
However they were out of diplomas, instead they gave him a rice cake.
"Here you go, it’s as good as a diploma anyway"
"Hey!" He yelled, in frustration he sighed, and threw it into the distance, where it hit…
Somebody, bla, bla, bla *insert plot here*
*space for rent*
-ERROR- TEXT MISSING-
“Wow, I can’t believe I got in to the Knights Regimen!” Mewd said gleefully
“Yes, and we are roommates fighting in the war. That was previously never mentioned.” SS added
“Yeah, so when do we get to battle?”
“We gotta train first!” SS stated.
"Hey look! We're already in line to the training ground, how awkwardly conveintent!" Mewd pointed out.
First was the sight test, to test the warrior’s ability to see they had to read a chart that was 3 feet infront of them.
"Do you see that chart?" The instructor pointed at it while SS stood before it.
"Uh, Yeah"
"Okay you pass. Next"
Mewd was next.
"Can you read it?" The instructer asked as he pointed
"No…" Mewd said squinting
"Fail."
"Well its so far away! All I see are black dots!" He retorted.
"Oh, pass."
Next was the physical.
"Okay, You'll need to walk a three feet to pass" the next instructor said as she led SS to a line and another that were three feet apart.
SS started, he walked about a foot, then held his side "Cramp,cramp! NO!"
He fell the ground and cried.
"Pass."
Days later, with all the tests passed, they finally got their first issuing to an area of war, against the Lakatus.
“Briefing! The Lakatu Island has now turned communists! We must go there and slaughter them all mercilessly! And we’ll give them no description so that all who haven’t played Mario games will have no idea who these guys are” The sergeant said calmly
"Question" Mewd said raises his hand "What proof do we have that they have turned into heartless killers?"
"They just are and stuff" the briefer said as he rose a finger.
"Anywho, now go kill them" he said as he pulled a switch, and the floor fell away and they all landed on a boat. The chairs fell too and broke under them, injuring many. The sergeant fell to.
“Man, guess I should of remembered all the chairs, file cabinets, and desks woulda fell in, oh well.”
He pulled the motor string and they shoved off through the water.
It then rode into the open sea, hours passed of tedious mini-games and tik tak toe.
Finally they made it to the island, it was about 10 feet around, and there was a cardboard box with a flag in it.
Under this island under the water, in a huge bubble dome was an island with a humongous fortress. Lakatu’s guard the edge of the small beach.
“Wait for it...” The sergeant said raised a hand
They landed on the beach. The lakiutus began to attack and mangle them.
“Wait for it...”
"Uh, captain..." Mewd said as the Lakitus began tying everyone up.
"Wait for it..."

They were all hauled onto the island, where as they all stood they pushed the flag. The island began to descend into the ocean, and it was flooded with water.
"Aw! What the h***!?" SS yelled as he attempted to free himself from his bonds.
"Okay, hold your breath!" the enemy captain said as they plunged into the ocean.
Some of the hostages floated away into the murky depths, A few seconds later they were pulled into the underwater island, and water gushed after them pushing the remainder of the hostages onto the innards of the island.
"Close the gate!" the captain, cried as it closed slowly.
"Captain, Tell me again why we didn't spend the extra money for a air lock?" on of the troops questioned.
…
Narrator: What just happened?
Uh, The island descended into the water and the tied up troops floated off into the open sea, and the island was pulled into a under water island while water spewed into the place along with it and it closed behind them.
Narrator: So now we have basically an underwater bubble fortress?
Yes, It’s about a mile around too.
Narrator: Who the h*** Are you anyway?
*Voice doesn’t respond*

Anyway....
The whole land Lakitu troop were floating above the water. Some of the others were spinning around underwater, limbs flailing around dead.
“Underwater base for Lakitus?! Who designed this base!” a swimming lakitu yelled.
“Lakitus don’t float, idiot! Except for the ones drowning....” another responded.
Meanwhile in Lakitu base headquarters…
“Ahaha! Now lets see them get us!” The king of the Lakitu laughed
“Dude, they floated down with us! They are in the base! Except for our troops, they are floating at the top of the base or dead in the water.” The general pointed out.
“What?! Ah geez, I’m an idiot! The base designer must be spinning in his grave!”
"He's not dead yet sir"
"Well kill him so my comment is accurate" the king retorted, slamming his fist into the side of his throne.
"As...You wish...But what shall we do with the hostages?"
"Just keep them all in the same cell with one guard who can easily be fooled or lulled to sleep to have his keys stolen by a small animal or a baby or something
Back with the troops.
Only three living soldiers were left.
“Woohoo!” yelled SS as he rose his hands
“Agh, man.” Mewd said knocking water out of his ears
“Oh boy, we're in their headquarters!” The sergeant happily cried
A small Lakitu comes up in battle armor.
“You guys come with me!” It said.
“Uh…”
Lakitu: You're under arrest!
“I have a plan, just sit tight.” Whispered the sergeant
“Uhh, I have a perfect explanation for all this....” with this he runs off abandoning his troops.
“Hey!” Mewd called after him
The lakitu grabs the two remaining enemies.
They were both taken to the same cell, with only one guard, and a box of tools to secretly construct weapons out of toothpaste tubes or something.
"This is a fine mess we've gotten ourselves into, and isn't it against the paladin code of honor to attack people because of their beliefs?" Mewd questioned as he paced about.
SS laid on of the many first class cushioned beds in the cell, next to a laundry shoot, a half dug escape tunnel behind a poster, and collection of numerous gaff poles propped against the wall.
"Uh, yeah, but these were nazi's...So that justifies attacking them" SS said as he yawned.
"Well what do you think they will do with us?" Mewd asked shaking his head.


A lakitu comes by their cell and opens it.
“You guys got a roommate!”
He throws in a Blue Lakitu, which he now apparently was carrying.
“How dare you!” He cried
“Shutup!” the guard said as he locked the door and walked away.
“Who the hell are you?” SS said
“I’m Merl, the base designer! We gotta get outta here, theys gonna kill me! Ah, tools!”
Merl looks at theline of tools by the hole in the wall. It has a spoon, a knife, a shovel, a big box labeled 'automatic digger' indicating that is what is inside, and a banana.
“Aha! Banana!” He said as he picked the banana up.
“That hole doesn’t look very good, I might as well start a new one in the cement.”
He began to vitally claw at the cemented floor with the banana. Hours passed silently as they watched him work.
"Hey look! I hit the bottom!" he cried as water spouted out of the hole.
“Guess digging a hole in an underwater base wasn't a good idea... Wasn't it Merl?” Mewd pointed out
“Man, why did I design this base so horribly! Ah well, we're gonna die now.” He said acceptingly
“OK” SS responded.
The guard then approached the jail cell.
"Because of this emergency we'll be letting all prisoners out to promote chaotic panicking." he announced.
"kickin'!" SS nodded as the guard opened the door.
As SS left the cell he kicked Merl in the stomach.
“Ohh that was not cool. Ahouyy....” He said passing out falling to his side
“SS!” Mewd glared at him
“He’s a lakitu!” He shrugged.
He kicked him in the head, and then ran out kicking the guard in the stomach too. The two ran out through the hallway.
The innards of the fortress were a utopian society where everyone was happily greeting one another while waves of water began to pummel them and injure them
“I have an idea, I think we should join the Lakitus and try to destroy our own kind!” SS announced suddenly.
"Uh, SS, The lakitu society is on the verge of distruction, and you want to join up with them?"
"Yes, are you with me or shall I label you traitor and turn you in?"
“Ok fine! Ill join! Geez...”
“You lie, spy!
“What?!”
SS grabbed Mewd by the neck and pinched a back of his neck. Mewd fainted and SS dragged him towards the fortress
...Which at this time was completely immersed in water...
And filled with dead floating Lakitues, including the General and the King.
"I've captured the enemy my liege!" Said SS as he entered the throne room.
"...." The king was dead.
"No need to thank me"
"..."
"You don't have to take it so leterially."
…
“I’m getting dizzy.” SS said as he felt his forehead
“My lungs feel like they are getting heavier each time I speak.” Mewd added.
Suddenly a submarine crashed into the side of the Bubble Island.
"Aha" Screamed the sergeant "Now that there is no threat at all I shall attack the island!"
The submarine flew through the city, smacking into already dead floating Lakitu corpses.
Eventually the entire place exploded violently.
Mewd and SS ended up washed ashore on a desert island…
Along with a bunch of sickening dead Lakitu corpses, currently being pecked away by vultures.

"Augh," Mewd gasped as he stood up and looked about "SS, we're lost on the Open Sea, on a deserted island, with a bunch of dead corpses who will likely spread bacteria"
"Not if we eat them first!" SS yelled as he popped his head out of the sand.
"Uh... No thanks"
“You know, the sun looks odd at this part of the world, it’s got a angry facial expression and is coming right towards us” He pointed out
The angry sun smashed down into the desert just missing Mewd.
Both bolted up and immediately dived into the open sea in attempt to escape, But the sun dove into the sea, boiling the water.
Making it into a pleasant and enjoyable Jacuzzi, while slaughtering any tropical fish that weren't use the extra heat.
After a few minutes the water was around 300 degrees though, completely boiling our heroes.
"Ah! My skin! My Skin!"
"The boiled eggs are ready...argh!"
Their words began to slur as their limbs flopped around the water lifelessly and their eyes closed.
Minutes past and then a rescue copter came, it lowered a dinghy filled with rescuers onto the water.
"Dude I don't think we have enough room for them in the boat" One said.
In response they began to toss men overboard.
Of course the extremely hot water caused the raft to burst and instantly kill the rescuers and the boat on contact.
“Aw c***" The pilot sighed, "Lower another boat to rescue the recuers!" The pilot said angerilly.
This continued over and over until where it wasn’t even funny anymore.
Heh...Ah...Man... This really does suck.”
"I know, since I am out of men I'll crash my plane into the sun, causing the seas to return to normal while sacrificing myself sending the world into a age of complete darkness and deathening frost!"
The helicopter was incinerated, it did however knock the sun out of the water onto the beach.
Another identical helicopter came and recued all the other recuers and the two heroes.
...
SS woke up in a hospital bed, at the door way was his teacher
"SS! What're you doing getting your wounds and haveing your health restored after risking your life for this country!? Get back to your post! The wars not over"
"But, we completely anilhated the enenmy"
"Thats not excuse!"
“Excuse this!” SS yelled as he pulled a gun from somewhere
“Dude!” Mewd said, somehow now in the room
He shot the teacher in the head and he crumpled to the floor.
“SS! Stop killing teachers! Bad!”
Epilogue: These two heroes were sentenced to instant death via electric chair. They were never seen again. Along with the Lakitus, the teacher rests in his grave.
The scene opens on a gravesite, many graves are together. Upon Lakitues like Merl and the King and General the teachers grave lays. "The Monster Mash" begans to play as the credits scroll, Hands bust out of the graves and begins doing the Monster Mash in unison.

CREDITS

Created By: Mewd and SS and King Bowser
Compiled by: Mewd
Ruined Plotwise by: SS

THE END....?


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